contagious
by another moment gone
Summary: multi-shot. "Dylan Marvil confronts her inner wishes: complete her mini-bucket list before she dies." *R&R* -another moment gone-
1. filler

contagious

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><p><em><span>multi-shot.<span>_

"us" –regina spektor

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><p>-:-<p>

i have been dying of cancer my entire life, not to make it a huge deal, but it is terminal and i may or may not be alive to witness my next birthday.

there's this program, similar to Make a Wish, but it gives you multiple wishes. on the eve before my sixteenth birthday, which may or not be my last birthday, i made a careful and thoughtful list of what i truly wanted.

_my goal list—before i die:_

1) i want to be able to get my license

2) to live to see my step dad marry my mom

3) to get my first kiss from my biggest crush: josh hotz

4) pull an all-nighter and watch the sunrise with my besties

5) have a cake-boss cake for my birthday party

6) have a sweet sixteen birthday bash

7) feel beautiful; hair or no hair

8) go to prom

9) say goodbye + amendments

i was determined to make this list happen; who cares if it's not a legit bucket list? those nine things listed are the only things that i want and can possibly make happen.

[-]

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><p>this is a multi-shot. each chapter will be based off each of the numbered item from above. a story about each.<p>

review?

-another moment gone-


	2. came to win, fight, conquer, thrive, fly

contagious

[-]

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><p><em><span>multi-shot.<span>_

"fly" –nicki minaj ft. rihanna

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><p>-:-<p>

1) i want to be able to get my license

it all started off when i turned eleven. we were driving home from the grocery store, being eleven, my older sister ryan just got her license and i was beyond jealous.

although i was diagnosed with cancer when i was four, it was not yet clear whether or not it was the terminal kind of cancer.

anyway, my mom, ryan, and i were driving home with a trunk full of goodies from the grocery store. ryan had begged in the parking lot to test out her new license and merri-lee, my mom, had finally obliged after a long serious discussion in the frozen food section.

"i love driving," ryan announced as we pulled onto the highway. ryan wasn't a bad driver, don't get me wrong, but she wasn't exactly what you would consider a 'soothing' driver. she swerved jerkily left and right and then grumbled a 'my bad,' low under her breath.

"i can't wait until i drive," i found eleven old self ambitiously agreeing. ryan looked in the rear mirror and scoffed.

"you have a long way to go, dyl."

when i turned twelve, after a whole year of continuous and consecutive begging, mom allowed me to drive up our driveway.

behind the wheel was probably the best feeling ever, who cares if merri-lee's arms were guiding me, or her feet were pressing the gas pedal because my feet were just short of a few inches?

i was in control—something i've never really ever felt.

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><p>-:-<p>

standing now in the parking lot at the age of sixteen, i knew this was one moment i would never forget. merri-lee, ryan, and my other sister, jaime all gathered around the parking lot.

"jack will be here soon," merri-lee said happily. merri-lee's soon-to-be-husband was all she'd gush about lately, and i couldn't say i was upset about that.

jack can hold our family together when i'm gone.

"i'm so nervous," i mumbled.

ryan wrapped a thin arm around me, jaime did the same. "you'll do great, sis," ryan boasted confidently, she smiled a bright white smile.

"this is a huge deal to me," i admitted. "i have to do well."

"you will," jaime replied breezily.

i hugged them to my sides, shortly looking for merri-lee. she was on the phone, giggling and gushed to jack about how he needs to hurry up and see her baby-girl get her license.

-:-

the following day, i abruptly woke up so i could make my way to the mailbox and see if they sent my _pass_ or _not passed_ letter.

i wasn't disappointed when i apprehensively reached into the white mailbox with the rearing stallion on it. (jaime loves horses.)

"holy shit," i whispered, fingering for the crack that would allow me to open the letter. it was thick—this was a good sign.

"congrat—"

i speed-read and began squealing; my feet couldn't move fast enough.

"mom! i got my license! oh my god!"

merri-lee was in the kitchen with jack, ryan was sipping a glass of OJ and jaime looked like she just rolled out of bed.

"congratulations dylpickles," merri-lee squealed, reaching her bony arms around me. ryan and jaime enveloped me in a congratulatory hug as well.

jack stood to the left of us, "come outside, dyl."

he led me outside, jaime and ryan tittering behind us with excited tones.

"you bought me a car?" i breathed.

"you like it?" he asked, casually wrapping a muscly arm around my mom.

"_can i drive it now_?"

before he had a response, i jumped into the front seat and tapped the passenger seat. "hop in, ryan, jaime!"

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><p>-:-<p>

license...check.

eight more to go.

[-]

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><p>review?<p>

-another moment gone-


	3. thief

contagious

[-]

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><p><em><span>multi-shot.<span>_

"stolen" –dashboard confessional

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><p>-:-<p>

2) to live to see my step dad marry my mom

the wedding was supposed to be grand; blinding-white-overly expensive table clothes, customized dyed carnations of beautiful fresh flowers, a royal white carpet for the aisle, ivory wooden benches, tainted with maple, the food was catered by the most expensive chef in all of New York, and their cake was from Cake Boss, Buddy delivered it personally himself.

that's probably where my obsession for a Cake Boss cake myself came from.

it was a sunday, the very sunday before school the following spring week. cancer was the last thing on my mind because i, a very ambitious fifteen year old, wanted to witness merri-lee marry a man that promised to love her forever—and accepted me as a daughter, even though my real father failed miserably to remain good in my book.

jack was a very good man, a very good man indeed. his promises were rare from what i've noticed and he always seemed to keep his word; he also helped my love life a little but that's later.

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><p>-:-<p>

the wedding was truly beautiful. i've been to a fair amount of weddings, been the flower girl, faked big smiles, wished my merri-lee good luck for the countless time again, and watched these "men" promise to make good towards my mother for the rest of their lives.

and i've had the privilege to watch them all fail.

but jack? jack's different. he looks at merri-lee like no other; the kind of look that seems dazed and screams, _am i really this lucky?_ it's the exact kind of look that i've always dreamed of.

funny to consider me, a dreamer.

"i now pronounce you, husband and wife."

their kiss was disgustingly sweet and that look of pure adoration blissfully reflected mutually in their eyes.

not only was she dressed in that white train classic dress that was embedded with sequins far too complicated for the average tailor, but the moment that struck me significant was the moment merri-lee walked down that aisled carpet, her eyes brimming with unshed glassy tears, for the fourth? time...but the look of hope and adoration traced in her eyes. she never gave up.

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><p>-:-<p>

the after party was eventful in the simplest way. merri-lee was attached to jack's hip and it didn't look like she was planning to leave anytime soon. every so often, jack would lean down and kiss her head or forehead and everyone would _awww_.

she was one lucky woman.

"now let's have a slow dance," the DJ announced into the microphone. the after party was in a tent on conservation land that overlooked the sunrise and sunset. there was a field of oblivion as well.

slow dances weren't exactly my steeze; who wanted to dance with a sick girl?

i've wanted my sickness to remain a secret, a personal matter, but merri-lee couldn't contain herself and her inner wishes showed: she wanted people to be aware of what terminal cancer did to families. although i was diagnosed young, merri-lee promised my sisters that she wouldn't tell a soul until she heard my input...that didn't help much though.

i can't say i blamed her, but i would have preferred to keep it a secret because now nobody looked at me the same way. their eyes danced with pity and their shimmery lips murmured what was supposed to be comforting: _stay strong! hold on! you can do this! _

but what they didn't know was that i gave up after i heard the words 'cancer.' cancer really marked and sobered people up. merri-lee was determined to do everything in her power, money and fame to find me a cure; nothing worked though. the world terminal really held its burden and meaning.

jack and merri-lee danced with their bodies intertwined, her mop of red curls resting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped securely around her—it was very memorable.

ryan was dancing with some body, harris fisher? i had a kid in my grade with the same last name but unfortunately the school is so big i didn't really get to know him because i was whipped out of school when i turned fifteen. 'a private tutor' merri-lee's words embedded in my head.

how was that supposed to be comforting?

jaime was lip-locked to some junior i didn't know about.

of course, disease girl—who could be contagious—had no one to dance with.

but other than the pity-looks or the words that were supposed to be comforting towards me, shot left and right from strangers that claimed to have known me my entire life, the wedding was a success and i can only hope that the marriage itself will be too.

i'm just damn surprised i'm alive to see this beautiful moment.

jack whispered some sweet nothings into merri-lee's pearl-studded ear and i wanted to cry with happiness and slivered envy. i'd never be able to have this for my own, so that's exactly why i was determined to remember this 'til the moment i died.

but in fact, i did cry.

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><p>-:-<p>

sitting on my bed now, i glance at the sheet.

my birthday was only a while ago; i can't believe i witnessed that as well. curling up in bed and turning the bed-post lamp on, i reached for the little red kate-spade notebook that was propped against the ivory wooden bed-post desk.

i clicked the little green pen as well.

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><p>-:-<p>

alive to see mom marry jack...check.

-:-

_we all look like we feel._

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><p>hope it didn't suck too much.<p>

review maybe?

-another moment gone-


	4. i'll get through this

contagious

[-]

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><p><em><span>multi-shot.<span>_

"get it right" –lea michelle (glee)

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><p>-:-<p>

3) to get my first kiss from my biggest crush: josh hotz

i've always had the clichéd crush on josh hotz since middle school. i'm not really sure why, it could be because i've spent so many hours in the hospital watching re-runs of gossip girl, or glee, or reading classic novels by nicholas sparks—either way, i wanted my first kiss. and i wanted it to be with my long-time crush.

there aren't many memories that josh and i hold; it's not like we're best friends who clearly love each other but just don't know it yet, it's not like we're mean to each other in a flirting sense...i'm not that lucky.

but there's something about him... let's look past his good looks, or get past the fact that he charms even the teachers; he's just this one kind of guy who doesn't let his ambitions get in the way of his feelings. and he's the one person who knew about my cancer that didn't look down at me, in fact, he kind of looked up to me.

after my school had an assembly for my grade, notifying them of my condition, josh visited me end of freshman year.

he had walked in with his heart on his sleeve practically.

he even skipped past the expected mannered questions. he just got right to the point.

"are you scared?" he had asked me with these brown as chocolate solemn eyes.

i had found myself speechless for the first time, really. and then he had placed his hand on my hand and no sparks happened, but i was swooning and charmed. he then squeezed my hand and smiled a very dazzling friendly smile.

"it's okay," i remember he had said calmly, "i've got your back; just give me a call if you ever need help with something."

then he smiled at me again and got up and left.

probably one of the best moments of my life...

sitting in the white hospital bed, i glanced at my phone that was perched on the metal bed-post. i was having some tests and fluids injected in me because i'm some experiment to the doctors. we all know i'm going to die so why not play with the terminal cancer girl? she's going to die anyway!

i grabbed the phone.

"hey josh, it's dylan marvil," i breathily said.

"oh hey dyl," he replied on the other line. "what's up?"

"can you come to the hospital? room 316? i'd like to take you up on your help," i felt butterflies swarming in my stomach.

there was quiet pause and for a second i thought he hung up.

"sure," he finally said. "i'll be there soon."

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><p>-:-<p>

josh hotz wears diesel jeans, dark wash, ralph lauren blue and white polo, he smells of ralph lauren cologne, he has warm brown eyes that remind me of melted chocolate. josh hotz is enigmatic, charming, dazzling, and patient.

i try to commit these traits to my memory as we sit on my hospital bed, talking about the horrible food at school. i find it strange in that moment that he was never a stranger, just someone that i never really bothered to talk to; due to the butterflies inflamed in my stomach.

"i swear," he claimed, "i'll die if i eat another hot dog from that school." he laughed heartily, his dark coal-black lashes fluttering, his eyes squinty.

we sober up after a few untouchable moments.

"it's okay to be scared," he broke the silence. i try not to let my emotions grab hold of the more rational side of me.

"i'm not scared," i answered, not sure if i believed my own words. he glanced at me with doubt swimming in his eyes.

"sure you're not," he sarcastically quipped.

"i'm not," i insisted.

"it's fine if you are," he said earnestly, locking eyes with me. i felt paralyzed under his intense gaze.

i looked him hard in the eyes and suddenly so much emotion just bursts from my heart or something right into my eyes.

"josh," i whispered, letting the silence hang. "i'm only sixteen,"

he nodded, not meeting my stare anymore. it was as if he was refusing it.

"i won't live to see my sisters have their kids, i won't be an aunt, i won't be able to wake up next to my husband—hell, josh, i haven't even had my first kiss." i wasn't sure why i was telling him all this because any other day, i'd be mortified for these secrets being voiced. "i won't even get to have a big white wedding," i laughed dryly and his chuckle was dry and humorless.

then he looked at me, really truly looked at me, and in that instant, i saw his eyes watery, shimmery, even perhaps damp. he really looked at me like i was some kind of, oh i don't know, some kind of angel or goddess. he looked at me like... like, he liked me or something.

"i need your help," i quickly begged.

he nodded enthusiastically, "anything."

"i need you to help me with my bucket list," i urged, pulling out a white crinkled line piece of paper from under my pillow. "this needs to happen before...before i go."

he looked up at me through those dark lashes and i felt this huge anticipation rumble. i shoved the list into his hands.

he opened the list with slow movements, exaggeratedly slow movements. i couldn't stop staring at him.

he smiled, blushed, smiled some more, then frowned.

"you're blushing," i idiotically blurted.

he locked eyes with me and smile. "we can make this happen," he avoided my comment with a beautiful smile. "but before that first kiss happens," he cockily said. "i need to take you out on a proper date."

i blushed so hard my face probably matched the color of the roses leaning in a glass vase next to the tv.

"really?"

he nodded sincerely, "your first kiss can't be in a hospital."

i take that earlier comment back—_this_ was the best moment of mere years of life.

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><p>-:-<p>

luckily for me, merri-lee demanded i come home for a few hours to get ready for my date. she also asked me several times if i was up to this. i enthusiastically nodded with a bright smile stamped on my face.

he picked me up at 6:00pm, right on the dot. he said to dress casually, perhaps a spring dress. he then proceeded to shake the hands of my anxious sisters, my adoring mom, and my step-dad.

"nice to meet you," he said.

after all of the small-talk, merri-lee shooed us out on our date. josh took my hand as we walked out on the steps towards his jeep.

"it's a little girly," he blushed, "but it gets the job done."

i just simply giggled, too giddy and surprised that this was happening to say anything. how could this be? the boy of my countless, hopeless dreams, wants to take me out on a date? he wants to spend time with me, _me!_

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><p>-:-<p>

it's hard to explain what happened at the date, pretend this is a movie: he took me to a local pizzeria, then took me out for ice-cream after. picture this: him smiling kindly at me, talking and relating, laughing and giggling, and imagine this: i felt normal. i actually forgot, for that time being, that i was going to die.

now imagine this, us standing on the porch under the dim-lights; presume that ryan and jaime's noses are pig-pressed against the nearby window, staring outside sneakily to spy on josh and i.

"i had a great time," he admitted. "can we do this again?"

i nodded happily, feeling the bursting emotions in my heart.

"thank you," i said.

he leaned over and kissed me. his lips, soft against my chapped ones, his lips smiling against my own. my arms grew their own minds because i wrapped my hands into his messy flowed brown locks and gasped.

he pulled away after a countless, breathless moment. he was smiling so widely, it must've matched my own.

"holy shit," he whispered.

"you can say that again," i giggled, noting the breathless note in my voice. i was practically wobbling from excitement.

"best kiss," he sincerely said, a blush making its way on his face.

i cupped my hand on his face and looked up at him with serious eyes. "thank you, i mean it."

"i should be thanking you," he snorted with a playful smile. "i've liked you for so long."

that pretty much led to my second kiss, then my third, fourth, and fif—

"hey guys," jaime's voice interrupted. "don't get ahead of yourselves!"

it was my turn to blush.

jaime winked then shut the door.

"sorry," i mumbled, looking down at my feet. "she's so annoying."

josh just chortled and hugged me close to him. i inhaled his cologne and i swore from that very moment: i was in love. as in love as any fifteen or sixteen year old could possibly be.

"let's do this again," he whispered in my ear, pulling away.

i nodded.

he kissed my hand and walked back to his car. he turned around as he walked away, glanced at me with a smile on his kissable lips, and got in his car.

i slept very well that night.

-:-

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><p>first kiss + josh hotz + best night of my life...check.<p>

[-]

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><p>review if you think i deserve one? (ps: check out my recent one-shots too please:D)<p>

-another moment gone-


	5. somewhere only we know

contagious

[-]

* * *

><p><em><span>multi-shot.<span>_

"somewhere only we know" –keane

(glee version, 'cuz I'm obsessed)

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><p>-:-<p>

4) pull an all-nighter and watch the sunrise with my besties

"I'm so excited, this is exactly what I need right now," I exclaimed, pacing around my room and picking up random scattered stuff.

"I'm glad to hear that," Merri-lee smiled with a trace of sadness in her eyes and left the room with the sound of a _click_.

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><p>-:-<p>

"So Claire," I chewed on a piece of Lint chocolate, my smile never ceasing to fall. "Tell me about you and Derrick."

Claire blushed, her innocent smile dawning on her ivory-skinned face. "We're just friends," she claimed.

"I bet you wish it was more," Alicia added confidently, the gossip-queen, always sure of her facts.

Kristen reached over for a handful of M&M's. Massie shifted a little in her sleeping bag but intently listened nonetheless. Claire shifted uncomfortably under the spotlight.

"He asked me to hang out tomorrow," she admitted quietly.

We all jumped up squealing excitedly, wrapping her in a tight impossible-to-escape hug; the bowls of food scattered around the white plush carpet.

"How's Josh?" I asked.

"He's good, he misses you says Plovert," Massie stated boldly, her cat-like amber eyes squinting slightly. "He wants to see you again."

This was one of the things I lived for: friends, gossip, boys, family, and food. My friends kept me distracted and were intent on making this last sleepover one of the best of my life; we watched several Chick Flicks, gossiped about their current boys, Josh's whereabouts, any cute new boys that transferred, the bitches, the hoes, the teachers, the school, the soccer team, and really just life.

They kept things a dream for even a little bit.

"Guys," Kristen mumbled, sleepily rubbing her eyes. "It's five in the morning," She had large purple bruises under her eyes.

We all glanced at our phones, surprised by the time—it only felt like two minutes.

"Let's go."

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><p>-:-<p>

We sat with a blanket on top of Claire's dad's truck, the fuzzy plush blanket wrapped in the back. We were star-gazing until the once-bright stars began to fade.

That's when the show _really_ began.

The sky was dark at first but the more minutes that ticked by, the closer the sun began to brighten and glow. The sky reminded me of people: the different colors that danced along the peaks of the skylines, the swirls of independent puffs, the various shapes that each color blended into, the white puffs joining and growing.

The sunrise was my favorite.

The sky was on fire, literally. The flames of heated fiery red, the swift grooves of orange flaming, and the blushing pink that was tinted with blotches of faded purple, the approaching azure… inhale…exhale.

Unnecessary irrational tears began to slide down my face. Massie noticed immediately, being the quiet-observer of our group.

"We love you, Dyl," she whispered, pulling me into a hug.

"Yeah seriously,"

Kristen jumped onto our pile, Claire leaped to her feet and frog-jumped us. We all tumbled onto our stomachs and backs, giggling over nothing. Tears stained our cheeks and our visions were blurred.

"I love you guys," I said with my throat locked. "I'll miss you guys _so_ much."

That's when we all lost it; sobbing freely with our hands all intertwined, we watched the sunrise.

My friends are the sunrise; they start the new life and the new day, bringing light and beauty to the world.

I am the sunset, the goodbye, the end, the closing.

Together, we end the days and begin the new ones.

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><p>-:-<p>

pull an all-nighter and watch the sunrise with my best friends in the whole wide world: check.

-:-

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><p>Sucked I know.<p>

Review maybe?

-another moment gone-


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